Top 7 Calming Strategies That Actually Work for Kids With Autism and ADHD

If you’re parenting a child with autism, ADHD, or severe behaviors, you know how quickly emotions can spiral. One moment everything feels fine, and the next, your child is overwhelmed, melting down, or acting out in ways that leave the whole family on edge.

It’s exhausting. And it can make you feel powerless.

But here’s what I want you to know: your child isn’t “bad,” and you’re not failing. These behaviors are often a signal that your child’s nervous system is in overdrive, and they don’t yet have the skills to regulate themselves.

That’s where calming strategies come in, and in this blog, I’ll be showing you how. 

The right tools can help your child feel safe, settle their body, and begin to build self-regulation skills.

Today, I’m sharing 7 calming strategies I’ve seen actually work for families like yours.

1. Deep Breathing With a Visual Cue

Many kids struggle to understand “just breathe.” So, instead, pair breathing with something visual or playful.

• Blow bubbles together.

• Use a pinwheel or feather to show slow, deep breaths.

• Try “smell the flower, blow out the candle.”
  

Parent Tip: Practice breathing when your child is calm. That way, the skill is ready to use when big feelings arrive.

2. Create a Calm Corner

Instead of sending your child away as punishment, create a safe “calm space” where they can reset.

This could include:

• Soft pillows or blankets

• A favorite stuffed animal

• Noise-canceling headphones

• A weighted blanket
  

The key is to make this space inviting, not isolating. It’s a place to feel safe, not “in trouble.”

3. Use Movement to Release Energy

Kids with ADHD and autism often need to move their bodies to regulate.

Try:

• Jumping on a trampoline

• Doing animal walks (bear crawl, crab walk)

• Heavy work (pushing a laundry basket, carrying groceries)
  

These activities give the body the input it craves and help calm the nervous system.

4. Try Sensory Tools

Sensory overload is one of the biggest triggers for meltdowns. Sensory tools that can help include:

• Stress balls or putty

• Chewy necklaces

• Fidget spinners or cubes

• Noise-canceling headphones in loud spaces

Pro Tip: Offer choices. Every child has unique sensory preferences.

5. Teach a Calming Phrase or Signal Word

Sometimes kids need words or a signal to help them pause. Work with your child to pick a phrase like:

• “I need a break.”

• “Calm body.”

• Or even a hand signal.

Role-play using it during calm moments so it becomes second nature when stress rises.

6. Model Regulation Yourself

This one is hard, but powerful. Kids learn most by watching us.

If you yell, they’ll escalate. If you breathe deeply, speak softly, and stay steady, you become their anchor.

Remember: You don’t have to be perfect. Just practicing calm, even imperfectly, makes a huge difference.

7. Stick to Predictable Routines

Change and unpredictability can be overwhelming. A consistent daily rhythm gives kids a sense of safety.

• Use visual schedules

• Give warnings before transitions (“5 more minutes”)

• Keep mealtimes and bedtimes consistent

When kids know what to expect, their bodies and minds feel calmer.

Conclusion

Calming strategies aren’t quick fixes. They’re tools your child will learn over time, with practice and patience. Some days will be easier than others, but every time you use these strategies, you’re teaching your child skills they can carry into the future.

You don’t have to yell, punish, or feel helpless. You can lead with calm, and your child can learn to do the same. 

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What if none of these strategies work in the moment?
A: That’s okay. Sometimes your only job is to keep everyone safe and wait until your child is calm before trying again.

Q: Should I use the calm corner as a timeout?
A: No. A calm corner is not punishment—it’s a safe reset space.

Q: How long does it take for kids to learn self-regulation?
A: It varies. Some kids pick up strategies quickly, while others need months (or longer). Consistency is key.